"Probably with myself! I've not had huge arguments, I'm not really argumentative, I don't think. Mind you, my friends and people around me will probably say I am... but I get angry at myself, mainly. 'Oh you idiot, why did you do that!?' and I get really would up at myself. So the most ferocious arguement will have been with myself. Either in the mirror or just in my head. That makes me sound like a lunatic, doesn't it? Apparently, when I was little I used to cry into the mirror, to see my own crying face. So that I knew what to do if I was ever putting it on! A little actress, even at four years old! And I had older brothers, so I would always be crying 'Muuuuum! They did thiiiiiis!' And I would practice the upset look in the mirror. Isn't it terrible? I'm not like that any more. I don't cry, I just shout at myself now. I've progressed!"
Who is the most fanciable person you've ever worked with?
Oh, I dunno. I've worked with some hotties. That's a really hard one. Unfortunately I've played Ralf Little's girlfriend for most of my career. And I don't fancy him. He'll kill me for saything that! Okay, I do a bit, Ralf! [He always says you do!] I know, he thinks I do. But it's kind of like a brother-sister relationship with Ralf, he farts on my head and stuff and gets his privates out in rehearsals and stuff. Really fanciable, yeah! So I don't know. There's loads. Paul McGann's gorgeous, we love Paul, who's my Doctor Who! I've been a lucky girl to work alongside some fitties. I'm sure I wasn't the most fanciable person any of them worked with. I can almost guarantee that!"
For a million pounds, would you without washing, brushing your teeth or usuing deodorant for three months?
"For a million quid, yeah! I probably do anyway. No, I do wash. And brush my teeth. Sometimes I forget the deodorant, but usually someone has a little one in their bag, don't they? But yeah, for a million quid, who wouldnt't? It's only three months, innit?"
What's the first thing you do in the morning?
"I can't say (laughs)! Oh dear. No. I'm joking. Of course. The first thing in the morning... oh, I let my dogs out into my garden, my three gorgeous dogs, Enid, Barry and Trish. I love them, they're my babies. There's only me and the dogs living there. God, I sound like a crazy woman who lives on a hil with a thousand cats... but first thing, I let them out for a wee and a poo. Too much information?"
If you could choose the manner of your own death, what would it be?
"Oh, that's horrible! It's giving me goosebumps, I don't want to think about it. I'm already scared of death and now you've asked me that... I'd like to just go in my sleep. I think everybody does, it's the nicest way. Once you've got old, you just have a nice long sleep that you don't wake up from. Oh, there's lots of hideous ways. I can't swim, so drowning would be bad for me. That's too depressing."
What makes you cross?
"Again, myself, usually. What else? I sometimes get cross when I'm driving, I get a bit cross with rude drivers, but then I'm a bit of a rude driver myself, so people probably get cross with me. People who hurt animals make me cross, because I love animals, I think of myself as Doctor Dolittle. Like I said though, I mainly get cross at myself rather than other people, I'm not really like that. I'm not confrontational."
When have you been most scared?
"In the Jonathan Creek Special, I had to do my own stunt [Sheridan had to be trapped underwater - Ed], and that really scared me, though i was really chuffed afterwards and I got a t-shirt that had 'I do my own stunts' printed on it. All Angelina JOlie, I felt!"
Who sent you your first Valentine's Card?
"Oh, f***, I've got a memory like a sieve! I'm sure it was somebody feeling sorry for me. I've got a definite memory that I got really excited and it turned out to be from my auntie or somebody, just trying to make me feel better..."
Have you ever woken up not knowing where you are?
"God, yes! I moved to London when I was 16, and only recently have I kind of calmed down. I'm 27 now, you know, and not drinking as much - maybe a glass of wine on an evening or whatever... but in my teens, when I started doing Two Pints, we'd all go out quite a lot, and as you can imagine all these younsters living down in London, with mum and dad away up north... there were a few nights when we got very, very drunk, and I'd wake up thinking 'Where am I?' - but I was always safe, I was always just at a mate's house or something, I just wouldn't know how I'd got there. With sick in my hair."
What makes you happy?
"Oh, loads of things! Doing Doctor Who makes me really happy - this job is such a fun job, honestly. You come in, literally having woken up in the morning really excited to go to work, you've got different casts in all the time. What a brilliant job! You don't have to learn any lines, you can look like s*** cos no-one can see you. It's great fun, working with Miriam Margolyes and brilliant people like that. I know it sounds cheesy, but work in general I just love. I've always wanted to do this job, so I always feel very lucky and happy doing it, so I always look forward to work. And my family make me really happy, whenever I'm not working I go straight up north to see my mum and my dad and my brother, up in Doncaster. And Christmas! And my doggies make me happy! And doing this interview with you! Everything makes me happy! This is a much better question than the one about being cross..."
Have we been visited by aliens yet?
"Personally, I haven't! Though when I'm in the booth with Paul McGann, we get visited by aliens in there... but no, I don't think so. If they have, I've not seen them. If aliens come to see me I'll make them a lovely roast and a nice cup of tea and have a chat about what their planet's like. Introduce them to my dogs, who'd freak out! Chasing little aliens round the garden!"
When was the last time you had a taste in your mouth that you couldn't quite place?
"Oh my God! Are these all innuendos, or do I just have a dirty mind? It was actually two minutes ago, when I ate my dinner, and there was something I couldn't place in there. I think it might have been celery... it was a lovely dinner, but there was something I didn't like in there. I won't go into the rude answer. My mum and dad might be reading..."
Were you bullied at school?
No, I wasn't bullied - I was always tiny, I was like two foot tall. My friend - well, he's my friend now but he wasn't at the time - said that on my first day at school, he remembers being tapped on the shoulder and turning round to see me, this tiny little dwarf-child with this huge rucksack on my back that was twice the size of me, and this long hair and this massive fringe. And he said 'Er... hello?' And I went 'Hiya! I'm the smallest person in this school!!', and ran off. He said it was the weirdest thing he'd ever seen. Apparently I was going up to everybody saying that! When I got into acting, I went on the Michael Barrymore show, My Kind of People, and did this cowboy routine with him. I went back to school the next day, and everyone was taking the mickey out of me and doing the dance routine in the playground. So I wouldn't say it was bullying, but I don't think people really got me. I used to make people laugh, which stopped people bullying me. They can get scared if you're good with comebacks... I was quite and odd child!"
Which part of your body would you most like to change?
"I'm not that keen on my teeth, they're a bit crooked. But I always think when people want to change things about themselves... it's just part of you, isn't it? It's character if you look a bit different.."
Did you have a childhood hero?
"Yes! When I was at school, when I started getting into acting, I would watch all these films with people like Catherine Zeta Jones, who were all really pouty - you look at The Mast of Zorro and she's really pouty during the sword fight, and I was thinking that if you were in a sword fight you wouldn't react like that, you'd get right into it! And then I saw Harry Enfield and Chums, and that was the first time I saw Kathy Burke, and I thought, that's how you do it! She didn't care what she looked like playing Waynetta Slob, or dressing like a little boy. I thought she was great - she's not pouty, she really lets rip. Comedy's best when you don't mind making a fool of yourself, because if you're laughing at yourself, people will laugh with you. She became my idol, Kathy Burke."
If you had three wishes, what would they be?
"Oh, that's really hard... For all my family to be happy and healthy. To one day have a dogs home. And the other one would have to be for the world... For everybody to have somewhere to live! No poverty, yeah! are they quite boring wishes? [Is it just dogs you love, or animals in general?] Well, I wrote this poem when I was a little kid, and it really stuck with me, I still remember this, and it goes: "I love all cats, I love all dogs / even slippery slimy frogs / I love all worms, now fancy that / Even a frihtening vampire bat / I don't care if they creep or crawl / I love all creatures great and small". Oh, God, how cheesy do I sound in this interview!?"
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